Friday, 16 November 2007

Nathan's School Finish

Paul & Nathan after the Valedictory Mass

While all was cool with Gabriella's last week of school. Things ran less smoothly for Nathan's.

After buying him a tie & a shirt for his formal on Wednesday night, he sent me a text message saying thanks for the tie but that I should know that the only reason he wanted me at the dinner is because it's going to hurt his mother greatly (they regularly argue).

What a dilemma! What was I then supposed to do? Go to the formal because Nathan's father, my husband wanted me to go, or stay away so that the ex-wife, with whom the son lives (but with whom he's often at loggerheads) got to have her day in the sun without me?

This kid is really mean! Quite seriously, the fight between son & mother that had me receive the text message was because Nat had taken her pushbike & hidden it at a friend's place so that he could hock it & use the money for alcohol for the party he was going to after the prom. I kid you not. He admitted that he had the bike hidden because his mother won't let him sell the cello his parents bought for him to learn on (which technically belongs to the mother not the child).

If the situation was a one off, I'd have said to hell with it & ignore a family fight, but this abuse by the son has gone on a long time. The first time I met the ex-wife was when Nathan refused to back down from putting a hammer through the windscreen of her car back when he was 12 years old because he was not getting his own way.

So, I stayed away from Nathan's formal at the request of my husband (for the benefit of the ex-wife). The son behaved well enough that he danced with his mother, despite the threat that he wouldn't (a tradition of the school prom is that the boys dance the first dance with their mothers), but was slack enough that he got no photographs with either of his parents. I snuck in the picture above at the Valedictory Mass. Nat posed for the pic & ran off and has not spoken with his father since (even though Paul had a birthday during the week & Nat was invited to dinner but simply didn't show up or acknowlege that he wasn't coming).

I can happily report that Kerry, his mother, thoroughly enjoyed herself with her new partner & basked in the joys of motherhood complete.

It's a sad, sad situation. I hope that Nathan grows up & starts to take an interest in someone other than himself, but I don't hold my breath.

Personally, I've washed my hands of him & his current behaviours. The time I have with my husband is precious (as he works globally I've seen him for about 5 days in the last 5 weeks) & I have my hands full with my own four off-springs' needs. I don't need the crap that my stepsons want to deal.

My Gabriella had a glorious time at her prom & the after party & we both had fun at the Valadictory breakfast this morning. Her siblings & their partners, Miranda & Duncan, David & Nadia, & Diana have shared events & made her week one that she never forgets. I'm very proud of them all.

No comments: